So, I’m getting married…

So, I’m getting married in a few weeks and planning a wedding has certainly been a bit of a learning curve. So far I haven’t been called Bridezilla, but there are still a few weeks to go, I still have time.  

Along the way we/I have learnt a few things, i possibly should have bought a dummies guide to wedding planning before starting. They must do those right? 

Here what I have learnt so far;

Spending Spreadsheet

No matter where you get married it will cost you more than you expect, be it the stamps for your invites, the printing of everything, spending extras on little things you fall in love with along the way. It adds up. It can spiral out of control if you aren’t careful. If you are on a budget remember to take a moment to decide if those expensive extras will really make a big impact on your wedding, or will they be lost with everything else. We found that having the main large payments set out in a list with the total cost kept us up to date with the final price. I also found that buying things each month along the way helped spread out the cost too.

Wedding Location

For as long as I can remember we’ve always talked about a destination wedding, I don’t think either of us could ever imagine getting married in the Uk now. Travel is a such a important aspect of our lives so, we’re having a destination wedding in Mexico. I knew that whatever happened, I couldn’t get married here, even if it meant that only our closest family was there, it felt like the right thing to do for us. If all goes to plan, we’re having a wedding we have always dreamed of. I can’t wait to feel the sand on my toes, the sound of the ocean and our closest friends and family who also share the travel bug sharing in a day that is us through and through.

Weddings aren’t just about the girl 

My fiancé is fully involved in the planning, I’m a very visual person so with every Pinterest photo I find, I make sure I run it past him to see if we’re on the same page. So far so good. He’s even caught the Pinterest bug. We’ve both discarded certain colours that the other would have liked but in the end we’ve both decided on a happy medium. He’s been fully involved, throwing great (and not so great) ideas into the mix, which surprised me but also made me love him even more. As much as people may think it’s all me, I will be so happy knowing it’s both of our visions coming to life for our dream wedding. 

You can’t please everyone 

We both prefer a more laid back atmosphere, we aren’t big on being the centre of attention, preferring the quieter, more laid back side of things. Which is why we decided to have an intimate wedding with just our nearest and dearest.

The one thing we knew from the moment we got Engadget was that we weren’t going to follow every tradition, we wanted something that was true to us and we weren’t going to just follow something because people say you should, and there isn’t anything wrong with that.    

No matter what you do people will disagree with your choice or tell you they would have done it differently. It’s impossible to please everyone. A wedding is about the bride and groom, not anyone else. We wanted something intimate, and by inviting those we are close to, those that we talk to and see regularly, we aren’t trying to hurt anyone’s feelings but we also aren’t letting other people’s expectations dictate our guest list. And, If someone says ‘sorry, we can’t come guys’, then that’s okay. We’ve chosen to fly 4,000+ miles away, we get it.

If we invited every family member, every friend and their plus one then it would end up spiralling out of control, and we’d lose the laid back intimate atmosphere we both want.

 Paperwork 

Confirm confirm and re confirm with your venue, vendors, everyone. Here or abroad this applies, just confirm everything. A good wedding coordinator is key. I work in a very professional environment which is fast pasted. It took me a lot of time to adjust to the slower more laid back pace of the Carribbean. A huge wedding issue to us was nothing to our wedding coordinator. We’ve sorted out some bumps along the way and hopefully our wedding will be everything we want it to be for us and our guests.  

Social Media 

Most of my job is on online marketing so I’m pretty active on social media. I made our save the date video, I designed our wedding invites and all our stationary, and I pulled together the wedding website with my fiancé. We’re proud of the hard work we put into them so I am happy to share them on my social media. (With some details removed). If you don’t want your wedding mentioned on social media tell your friends/guests, and if you’re a guest follow the couple or bridal parties lead. Before we had sent out all the invites we didn’t mention it as we wanted our guests to see them first. 

This also applies to the big day, we’re asking our guests not to share any photos until after we do. We don’t want an unplugged wedding as we can’t wait to see our friends and families snaps, and we have a wedding hashtag. But as we’re having a wedding abroad where many of our close friends and family can’t make it we want the chance to put it out there first.

Hen/stag  

I am forever reading about stag and hens that cost a fortune, and that attending a wedding (even in the uk) costs guests hundreds of pounds. We are incorporating our hen/stag within the time we are away so those guests who arrive in time (there’s no pressure) can attend. Rather than have people shell out even more to attend another event. Neither of us want a big affair. But let’s see what the Best man plans.   

A wedding email address

The thing I found most helpful is having a wedding email address that all wedding correspondence is done through, it means that both of us can reply to things, that everything is in one place and easy to find, it also means that post wedding I’m not bombarding with wedding spam emails.

Google Docs

Google sheets were a gem, not only can we access them on the go but we know they’re up to date. I use this a lot with our guest list, decoration options, menu choices, pricing and wedding options. 

Have non-wedding time

Take time off from wedding planning, I find after a long day I don’t want to come home and discuss favours or decoration or the pro’s and cons of a £800 plain white basic dance floor anymore. So we make sure to have some days off from any wedding talk here and there.

Plan Ahead

I wish I hadn’t done this, but as our venue was only finalised in May/June and a lack of photos or CGI’s I had to leave a fair amount of planning until the last few months in case we needed to change it. If I could go back I would do as much as possible in advance, and even starting to pack those things that aren’t needed before. Even things like designing the stationary ready to have the final details added in once they’re known, or ordering welcome bags when we had an approximate number of guests. (Order too many and you’ll be fine)

With just a few weeks left, I am so excited.  We’ve been engaged 3 years next month, so the wedding has been long anticipated.  

Are you planning a wedding? Or have you planned a wedding? I’d love to hear your tips and tricks too?  I’m hoping not to have post wedding blues, we’ve got lots of exciting things happening post wedding and a honeymoon to plan so hopefully that will keep me busy. 

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